I'm trying to give him space and not push him but it is getting harder as my patience is starting to wear thin.
IDK, I feel so scared all the time that he might be just stringing me along. Time will tell....
(((Coly)))
I am concerned for you. Look, I completely get what you are doing and why. I also agree with the DB philosophy and techniques--that is WHY I am here on the boards. However, I don't think (nor do I believe others do) that DB comes at the expense of your emotional well being.
Your patience is wearing thin and you are scared he is stringing you along. Please understand that this is not healthy at all! Relationships, and Ms especially, should be about mutual respect, not about fear. (I am struggling with my own respect issues at the moment, so we all have issues).
I don't want you to follow this program to this extent if it is causing you anxiety and hurting your confidence. I think we (LBS) all get so focused on if and how the S is coming back, that we lose sight of our own needs/wants. That is the opposite of DB--DB is about learning to love the self first, 180, GAL, and DETACH. Then over time, if THEY have changed, we can better assess if our spouse is ready (and worthy) of our M.
I think you should pull back a lot. I think you now see that he is mixed up and does actually want this M to work. That is great, and that is more than most posters are able to get. Now please think about what YOU want and deserve from a partner. Perhaps you should start to require that before he is allowed reentry into the M. There is no rush to do anything at all. But time alone will not heal this. I don't want you to enter an unhealthy dynamic with him--where you have fear and he has the power.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
