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[Moose42]

Thanks 010207. I'm glad to hear you were able to work things out. You are right,EA's are painful.

[Moose42]

Thanks for the replies all. I feel that way about the D talk as well. Although in the back of my mind I wonder if it is part of her plan B.
I had a lot to do with the way the M went. Not long after our D past in 2010 the intimacy slowed down. We started drinking heavy,got us into financial trouble. I just let myself go to hell.
My biggest regret is that I didn't get the family into grief counseling. My W was able to slow down on the drinking but I couldn't. I stopped drinking for 16 months(2014-2015) but didn't attend A.A meetings or work the steps. Fell off the wagon when BD.
The W seemed to begin shutting down back in 13(in hindsight). She started losing interest in things and kinda stopped calling friends and family.
She got into games on phone and kindle and reading a ton of romance novels.
Looking back now, in my drinking days I didn't even recognize any of this(I guess that is why it is considered a selfish disease).
So I have a ton to work on. My goals are to stay sober and work the 12 step program. Do the best I can to save the M.Work on the finances. Become a stronger, mentally healthy man.
Been working on the physical aspect. Got a gym membership,lost 60 lbs and doing strength training. Sorry for rambling. Just trying to get my info out. Thanks for listening.

[Moose42]

Im curious how do I see my entire topic? It shows 23 replies though I am only able to view a few of them. Thanks.

[Gordie]

Wow. Congratulations on getting sober and sticking with AA. That is a huge step in the right direction. What about grief processing? How are you doing on that front? That is another huge issue.

[Caveat]

Moose42

I have posted a response on my thread and thanks for stopping by. I know we have things to learn throughout this process and I am on that journey and have learned a lot, well done on getting sober that is great especially with everything you have going on right now

[Moose42]

Thanks Gordie. It is amazing what you find out about yourself and your selfishness in the A.A program. Doing good on the grief process. I truly believe that she is hand in hand with the lord.

[Moose42]

Thanks Caveat. I am learning as the journey goes on as well. Keep your chin up.

[Gordie]

Did you read DR? Have you started following the 7 step program?

[Moose42]

Hi Gordie. I have read DR one time. Kind of a quick go through. I am currently reading through it again.

[Gordie]

Definitely worth reading slowly and more than once. So, after your D died, so terrible, were you and your W able to grieve or did you slip into depression and seek solace in alcohol? Was your R good before that happened or was it already strained and that just made it worse?