It sounds like you have identified some of your issues with your H: not listening, not appreciating, being disrespectful. It's hard to admit those things, so good for you.

It sounds like H having a GF and introducing her to your children crosses your boundaries, correct? If so, what are the consequences?

Have you read DB or DR or the homework above? How have you applied it to your situation?

So sorry you find yourself in this situation but you are stronger than you think and can get through this.

Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving