Gordie: Pulling it all together

[Gordie]

KentS,

Congratulations on 23 years and the retirement ranch plans! Awesome. Either you are wise or have been eavesdropping.

My W said she felt like she died in our M so to her, she has fulfilled until death do we part.

Yes, I can't control my W and she is insisting on this separation and probably divorce because she says she needs to be free. It just breaks my heart to lose what is most important to me--my wife and my intact family.

I agree love is a commitment and a decision, not a feeling. The strange thing is, W says she is still in love with me. But I do think she questions and wants to test what she will choose and decide to do once our present M is over--choices and decisions she feels she is not free to make now.

I believe and have communicated that there is no love in an involuntary union and that both parties must freely choose it. I hope W chooses to unite with me at a later point but fully accept that she is not doing so at present.

What are your suggestions re boundaries?