Life is kicking my butt

[Zues126]

Thanks for the feedback qt. Yeah, that was a tough time. That's pretty understated but words can't really describe anyway.

The positive is that was what it took to wake me up from my denial. It's like we want our M to work so badly we feel that it is impossible for the universe to not allow our love to continue. It takes a lot for us to acknowledge that our M is over. For me these events were helpful in coming to grips with that, and realizing that I had to really detach from this person.

I then had to process an awful lot of anger. But also this is the beginning of some difficult logistical questions about managing children through this more permanently. I need to reread these threads, I swear I blocked out a lot of 2015, but my gut tells me my most significant progress was the decreasing number of imaginary conversations I had with XW in which my brain obsessed with things I wished she'd understand, or questions I wish I could ask, etc. Little by little that faded away, and my brain no longer seemed to care. That was a relief.

But, most importantly to you, I must have done some things right, because in the end I got the custody arrangement I wanted and deserved, finalized the D, and have a non-adversarial relationship with XW. My kids are safe and loved. I am hoping you can say the same things when you are a little further down the road.