This is JMHO, but as Kaizen suggests - why not? You seem to be tip toeing around her, not wanting to make waves and worried that you may seem cold.
I understand you hope to save your marriage, but I think a guy who goes - Wow, this isn't working for me and takes solid steps to move forward - is far more attractive.
That would mean (in your mind) dropping her like a stone and making plans for yourself with no reference to her and what she things. It would mean robustly protecting your own interests. Not in a jerk kind of way - but just doing what works for you.
Did you read Defacto's thread? He's a previous poster and I think he got to where you want to be. His D did go through - but he was good regardless (as am I...:-))
Xx
I have read Defacto's threads, and definitely hope to be where he was at some point.
W texted me today to tell me that she signed up for a 5k with her sisters and put me as the emergency contact and asked if that was ok. Then she asked if I had anything fun planned for the day. My response was I don't mind, and not quite sure yet what I'm doing today. That was that. I assume this was a bit better?
Also, I am really fighting the temptation to confront her about some new information that I have found out. I want to just confront her and tell her there are consequences for her actions and leave it at that, but I know it is suggested that I don't do this. I feel like it would be so gratifying at this point. But I suppose it doesn't get me closer to my goal.
