^^^THIS^^^ What K said. I was not kidding when I suggested the cold excuse. You have to detach from her and that means her opinions, her thoughts, her wants and her "needs". Remember, she fired you from husband position and she might want to resign you to the friend position. I do not know about you, but I do not want to be relegated to the friend position and my firm opinion is that the friend position is a dead end with no possibility of advancing to anything more. This is highly contested topic here (as you know), so you will have to decide for yourself. I can just put my story to you and you decide.
My W and I have 2 kids (now 7 and 4,5, 4,5 and 2 at BD) and she completely changed at BD (in hindsight she changed a while before, but at the time of course I had not noticed). She always despised FB and social networks and now she signed up. She actually sent me a friend request on FB and was shocked when I turned her down. She was on cloud nine with the OM affair and was running on infatuation hormones. I was distraught and 2 young kids in tow, high pressure job and all. I actually thought I will not survive it all. My kids pulled me out of the funk. My W started behaving like a teenager, started wearing teenager clothes, torn jeans, leather wristbands, spiked earrings, the whole nine yards. People around her actually thought the lost her mind.
She started accusing me that I did everything for her in the marriage (yes, you read right, she accused me of doing everything for her ). I was in all 9 rings of Dante's hell and it took me more than a year to get out it...
