Hi NYG, this is JMHO but I think you are trying to micromanage the interactions between your W and prior OW, which I don't think is a good dynamic in your R.

What if you just released that and accepted - either she wants to be in this R with me - or she will interact with OW? Is it helping the situation for you to be agreeing protocols, which she then doesn't follow - but lies to you about it because she knows you will be upset?

I understand the fear that it could happen again - truly. But I think letting go of the control would be a good thing...

JMHO of course and I'm sorry your W wasn't honest about the interaction...xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus