You have to decide what is right for your children. This is something you can decide when you know where he's going to be moving to. However, if he's responsible for them 50/50, you may want to consider allowing them to go to his place on weekends/holidays when it's his turn to take care of them because that would make him accountable for overseeing them for a bit in his own environment.
Of course, he wants you to get an IC. Why? Because he figures that by seeing one, the IC may recommend a divorce after a few sessions and he wants to make sure you are more agreeable w/what he's doing. They do this quite often.
If he wants to be w/the ow, that's one him and yes, let the guilt get to him. No one in their right mind would give permission to a spouse to get romantically involved w/op in this type of situation. Oh, he really does want you to be okay w/what he's doing and he knows you aren't.
As for support groups...have you thought about your church? Some churches have groups for separated parents/divorced spouses, etc.
Bottom line, don't be too accommodating w/him. He can't grow up if you make things easy for him. He's got to learn from the "hard knocks" that life isn't a box of chocolates.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
