MLC W and preparing for S or D in the new year

[ForGump]

Your WW is partly right.

To her, H now:
- listens to W and
- understands W and
- is helping W live the life W wants to live and
- is putting W's desires ahead of his own and

Good

- that letting go of W is an act of love.

Respecting her independence is good.

- that letting go of M is an act of love.

No.

Here's the conversation I hear in my head:

"Honey, you have some things right but you are badly mistaken about this part. A divorce is not the solution. I cannot be with you emotionally and physically while you are sleeping with other men. That goes against all my values and feels wrong to every bone in my body. In fact, the closeness you feel with me right now -- if you knew that I was sleeping with other women, you would not feel that toward me. You would feel violated and skeptical that I care for you."

This makes W feel closer to H. It confirms her feelings that we don't need to be M in order to have a love R.

"Your feeling good about me being more supportive of you is right. But that is happening because I am committed and loyal to you. That is happening exactly because we are married and devoted to each other. If both of us are emotionally and physically carrying on with other people, those good feelings won't be there any more."

Like I said, it's the conversation I hear in my head. I doubt you should say anything so verbose to your wife.