A stronger me for whatever the future holds

[PacLove]

I'd highly recommend the one I'm reading right now as one of the best in terms of understanding A, unfortunately do to forum rules I can't give you the name. I've read 4 different books on the topic. This is the only one I've read twice.

[ForGump]

PacLove, can you give me some keywords to search for on the Internet, that would turn up the book you're talking about? (I think that's allowed in the forum). And any additional hints for narrowing down the book/author...

[Seeker7]

I was listing to a seminar on marriage today and they were talking about feelings and how you should present them. I know this is probably to soon in your R descriptions but if things progress it would be useful.

He said that when you are talking about something that is bothering you about what the S does you should say it like this. "(Pet name) When you xxx it makes me feel xxx."

Example:

"Sweaty, when you raise your voice I feel threatened and unloved."

Also when you what something done you should say "May I make a request?" If they say yes then you say "Can we do xxx."

For example:

Me - "Sweaty, may I make a request?"
Her - "Yes"
Me - "Can we schedule our next meeting so we are getting good time together?"

You but the ball in there court for helping on the decision.

[PacLove]

PacLove, can you give me some keywords to search for on the Internet, that would turn up the book you're talking about? (I think that's allowed in the forum). And any additional hints for narrowing down the book/author...

Ha ha sure...

When is a friend more than a friend?
First name of Famous child actress in the 30's and has a drink named after her?
What are windows made of?

Hope that helps

[PacLove]

Thanks seeker - yes an important distinction... It's always good to quantify it with "I feel sad" vs. the absolute "I am sad"

One thing to bare in mind is that feelings are neither right or wrong - we are entitled to our own feelings as is our spouse. No one can change the way we feel, we can however empathize with the way our S feels and try to understand why they feel that way.

[ForGump]

First name of Famous child actress in the 30's and has a drink named after her?

Looked all over amazon.com for a book by India Pale Ale, could not find it.

Seriously: it's against forum rules to post names of book authors?

[PacLove]

LOL IPA!

try searching: not friends

if that doesn't turn up anything add the keyword what windows are made of...

Yes it's against forum rules to directly post authors and book titles.

[Seeker7]

One thing to bare in mind is that feelings are neither right or wrong - we are entitled to our own feelings as is our spouse. No one can change the way we feel, we can however empathize with the way our S feels and try to understand why they feel that way.

I can not agree with you more on this. This is something I am truly starting to understand as my journey through these times progress.

Seriously: it's against forum rules to post names of book authors?

I am not sure but have seen many books on here be posted by name and see a lot of abbreviation for books and last names of authors. I did read a whole thread that had lists of books on here somewhere. Also from what I understand it is the main books that are of limits are any doing with competition to MWD's books. I am not sure though but would love some clarification on this.

[PacLove]

From the forum rules:

-You agree not to post any copyrighted material, photos, videos, book references, or links to other sites.

I posted a link once and it got redacted. Cadet would be able to confirm for sure but I too have also seen other book references in various posts that have not been removed... Cadet?

[Seeker7]

I know links are against the rules but I see the 5LL all over the place even have mentioned it on my threads. Here is a link to a Cadet thread that may give a little leeway but not sure.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2567901#Post2567901