Despite all my mopey-ness in this forum, I have been pretty stable and cheerful at home. In other words, I've got plenty of pathetic, pursuing, begging, crying instincts in me. I bet I can out-do whatever desperation you feel.
But here's the thing. Both DB coaches and the conventional wisdom in the forum agree on one thing: pursuing, clinging, begging behavior does not help. So the more I feel pathetic about the impending divorce and about myself, and the more I let those feelings be displayed to my wife, the more I'm digging my own grave.
So you have a pretty simple decision to make: dig your own grave or don't. We are all drowning here. You can swim or sink. Look deep inside yourself, and ask: am I going to fight it, or am I just going to sink. If you decide to fight your woman and your marriage, man, fight. Fake it. Fake it every day. That's what all of us do here. Fake it til it feels real. Rise above where your W is. Rise above the comparison w/ OM.
That's all the rah rah rah rah shish boom bah for now.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
