Let go of the OM comparison - that won't serve you well. Most people are 'affair downs' due to the emotionally broken/morally bankrupt aspect that let to them being involved with a married/unavailable person.

He is not your equal or better and so let that one go...

My XH became involved with a much younger, but rather successful and attractive woman. However, her last R was also an affair in which a family was broken up and then she cheated on that guy. This is where 'affair down' comes from. People may superficially appear successful, attractive etc. But the fact that they are willing to become a third person in someone else's marriage and the brokenness that led to this = affair down.

:-)

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus