She knows how to reach you, right? Has she contacted you in the past 6 months?
I don't see you as the problem. As Cadet has stated, you did not break her and neither can you fix her. To be blunt, it's not about you. Yes, it certainly affects you and your family, however, what ever has thrown your W into this emotional crisis....she has to figure it out and deal with it. Your job, IMHO, is to stay out of her way. Give her the space and freedom to do whatever she wants....as long as it does not directly involve you (if that makes sense). Hard for you, but it detaches you & the MR from her emotional issues. When or if she finally sees that her H is not the problem, and that her M does not have to be a repeat of her parents.....hopefully, she will seek counseling to deal with her past.
If she should initiate some type of contact with you, then you can respond to her. Otherwise, I would not recommend you initiate contact, or anything that you think would be a sign of showing her you still care for her. It's not about you. It is about her demons. If she wants reassurance that you still care about her, she will have her own way of checking. At the moment, it doesn't appear to be priority, so just continue to give her space.
What are you doing to fill your own life? Don't place your life on hold while she's going on her journey through MLC (or whatever). You can do the things you enjoy doing, without answering to another adult.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
