Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #7]

[Chris73]

Sorry for you Gump. If you read up on my last few posts you'll see that I've gotten some new perspective after talking with 2 different lawyers yesterday. It has given me a lot to think about.

My W still "appears" to be level headed and has sworn up and down over the course of this whole mess that she has no intention of putting me in a position where I would be struggling financially or fighting for more time with my kids. Of course I take this with a grain of salt. But I think after the dust settles from the Disney trip, we're going to have to sit down and go over the particulars.

I'm hoping that once she realizes how difficult a divorce is going to be for us (financially, emotionally, and physically) it might give her something to think about.

The good news for both of us is that our Ws are still living with us. So yes, if you decide that the tough love approach is the way you want to go, a physical separation and going dark is probably best. But I think both of us are following the advice of the DB coaches who advocate reconnection through friendship.

So being in a position where your W can observe you on a regular basis can be to your advantage if you act appropriately. Do your own thing. Don't initiate R talks. Don't linger in conversations. Don't occupy the same space unless you have to. Keep your temper under control (if that's an issue). Walk away if your wife begins to spew (if that's an issue). Always be available for your kids, even if it gets in the way of your GAL plans. When you're depressed about the absurdity of it all, embrace that feeling, but don't do it in front of your W. If you don't have any friends/family to lean on, go for a drive and cry in your car if you have to.

And of course post here. We're all in this together!