cc, One of the first things that you need to do is stop discussing divorce w/him. He's told you that he doesn't want to wait six months to end the marriage, so back up, leave him alone on this issue. You can't convince him to change his mind about it and the more you try to, the more determined he will be to go for it. As for the 6 month timeframe...anything can happen, but right now, I would be preparing for the worse and hoping for the best. Now is the time to get your ducks in a row about your finances, credit cards, etc., because he very well may just spend quite a bit of money and become very stingy w/time and money for you and the children.
As for the anger/monster behaviors, your h is in the early stages of MLC and those emotional outbursts/behavior may come out to play if you push him about the divorce or expect him to act a certain way. Not all people act like monsters, but some of them will just to get their point across. My xh was passive aggressive and went from an easy going, pleasant man to a complete lunatic who acted out very badly throughout most of his crisis. I'm not saying yours will do that, but if he starts acting that way, step back and just leave him alone.
I may be wrong, but I do think that there is someone waiting in the wings. It could be an EA that he has been thinking about and wants to take the relationship to the next level. The OP may not want to do this, but generally the OP is there stroking their egos and listening to their tales of sorrow (even when they aren't true).
Bottom line, no more discussions about divorce/relationship. Did you notice how his leaving is now for him and not the family? Well...that's MLC for you...it's all about him and not about you or the family. He's going to be selfish, self-centered and an emotional mess as he travels the yellow brick road.
I would tell your children that there father needs some time to himself to work on some personal issues. Reassure them that you will continue to be there for them. You don't need to go into great length about what is going on at this time because you don't know where your relationship is headed.
Keep the focus on you and your children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
