I don't know if anyone on the board has done the in-house AND the physical separation and can tell me if they found any relief in their spouse leaving the house for a time? Anyone?
Hi ccgrll, I've been reading through your posts tonight and I'm sorry.
As other have said the energy definitely changes. All our situations are different but yet so similar. For me, after the initial shock of W being out of the house (she left when I was gone) it was somewhat of a relief. A relief from the new awful person she had become but I still missed/miss the old her. No more walking on eggshells or pins and needles and no more of her teenage-like messes/behavior. I was basically a full-time single dad in the house to my kids plus I had a BASH teenager that was W. For me the triggers for different feelings fade more and more as time goes by but sometimes make unexpected appearances.
She still comes here sometimes and the mood varies. I'm working on not letting it affect me but I'd be lying if I said it didn't. Sometimes I like having her over here and other times I can't wait for her to leave. If she's here without me I know where she's been, it's a mess and the lights are on lol.
Reading your posts I see some similarities with my sitch. My w talked about finding her own place but how she couldn't because of money. It was part of her fantasy and she eventually figured out how to do it. And the talk about the sinking ship is right of the MLC playbook, remember to not believe half of what they say (e.g. my W told me she took me on as a project and she never loved me, she realized her project was a failure and she was done, period. I said like a bad 90s movie and she said yes, lol. We only dated 7 years before we got married so I know its a crock).
I hope the therapy works for you, it's positive that he even agreed to it, just make sure its worth while for you and your M. Remember to focus on yourself and kids, they will be needing you for stability. Take care and keep posting.
