My WW and the Great Sandi2 Experiment - part 2

[Chris73]

Just had a very interesting discussion with another attorney. I really respected this guy because he did a free phone consultation with me at 7:30 at night from his home.

After I relayed the most pertinent details of my sitch he said, "Man, that's a scary situation to be in!" Now I may be new on this planet, but I don't think this is what you want to hear from a divorce lawyer!!

He said, "she's really got you by the b@lls. She could decide to file at any time and if she's got a good attorney she'll realize that she's entitled to a lot."

I told him that I was still hoping for a reconciliation and that we had agreed to continue our in-house separation until June. To which he replied, "Well, I give you a lot of credit. It's a noble thing you're trying to do. But I've seen these types of cases a million times and if you're really hoping to reconcile with her you need to let go of her completely. Tell her that you'll agree to whatever is fair and let her live with the pressure of having to handle her life without you. She'll soon realize that no one is going to be as good to her as you are. And then if she decides to reconcile either during the divorce proceedings or after, it can be on your terms.

...You should start the divorce process as soon as possible. If she's willing to be amicable regarding the division of assets and joint custody you should be able to work out an agreement quickly and it won't have to cost you very much in legal fees. But the longer you wait the more opportunity she has to decide that she wants more than you're willing to give and then you have a messy legal battle."

I got off the phone and was like, "Wow. That dude said a mouthful! I had never considered that approach." So I have a lot to think about over the next few weeks.

Interesting side note, after I got home and spent some time with S8 before bed I sat down with her at the table to go over any last minute items for the Disney trip that we hadn't gotten to yet. We talked for a while and then she said, "It's really great that you're handling the itinerary. All of those details about what rides to reserve and what shows to go to and where to eat just drives me crazy." So I said, "Well I guess it's good that I'm going with you... one last time."

That "one last time" part came out so naturally and I know it took her by surprise. She got red in the face and choked a little on her words. I didn't react at all and just got up and left the room.

I kinda feel a bit empowered right now. I know it won't last long. But it feels pretty good right now.