Thank you Job, I will try to handle her projection that way. Stepping back and asking why she feels the way she does. It won't hold water. I'm nothing like her parents and she's projecting both of them onto me.
The last few days she has been sending me short friendly texts. Then last night when she called to talk to the kids she sounded terrible. IDK if is was tired or sad or what, she said she was tired and couldn't stay when she talked to them but it wasn't even 9 yet. She just called to talk to me about S at school. A friend of his from another class was having a meltdown and S calmed him down and made things better for him:) I have such great kids!
She talked a little then told me she was leaving town again this weekend, taking time off from her new job. It kind of sent me spinning. She leaves town any time she doesn't have the kids and stays away as long as possible driving late or leaving in the early morning hours to come back so of course it makes me wonder if she is seeing OM again. Then again maybe she is just running. I came so close to asking but got off the phone before I reacted. I really wanted to ask her and IDK if I should. I'm thinking the answer here is no but it eats me up not knowing. Should I? I've never been controlling, jealous, etc. and I never had trouble with her going out w/friends, or momcations but I trusted her. Now I literally can't trust her to go to the grocery store or pay a parking ticket. I am tempted to ask because if she is she would no longer be welcome into my home and IDT I would being friendly to her like now. It's a boundary and she's broke it once without consequence so why not again? I was also told by the guardian attorney when they broke it off that he agreed to go to classes about starting/blending a family. What a great way to start a relationship (or keep in her pants), lol, and how insulting to me and the kids; however, it shows how wacky she is. I definitely have some pent up anger.
Right now she stops over, sees the dogs (which she called cats the other night, and no it wasn't a joke, she's out of it), knows she can count on me for certain things, and "thinks we can be good friends." I think this takes the guilt off her. Maybe she needs the gift that keeps on giving.
I realize that I'm spinning over something that IDK if is even happening so that is why I got off the phone but this just eats at me. I manage to bury it for awhile but it always manages to come out from time to time.
