I'm Back :( #2

[ForGump]

Laowai--

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know. And if one looks throughout the history of our marriage and other broken marriages, it is the latter category that tend to be the difficult ones."

What your W is sharing with may be a gargantuan piece of cheese. Or it can be a completely cheeseless tunnel. We just don't know, and can't know. It is a known unknown. It will only become a known with the passage of time and further revelations and development of events.

I think you did well to validate. I hope she genuinely felt that you were hearing her. I think it's fine to wonder whether her opening up to you means something. I would do exactly the same.

But don't let what simply not knowable take away your focus from becoming a strong, warm, stable person that your W would be drawn to. I'm sure she'll be sending more messages your way, and you want to be sure that you don't crumble under the weight of hope, hope for a marriage that is already dead. Look forward.

I'm trying hard to be forward looking myself ....