...some here have given words of warning that things will change when either of us get involved in another relationship. Have you and your W discussed what will happen in that future scenario?
Ha! No we haven't. I know it's naive but I'm not ready to have that discussion yet. It still remains to be seen that my wife is fully involved with OM2. She swears up and down that she isn't, but her actions tell another story. We've agreed to continue the in-home separation for another 6 months, so I'm hoping that we are both able to use that time wisely and act in the best interest of the family when that time comes.
My W still slips every so often...
We debated over how to decorate the house for Xmas and she said, "Well, just do it this way and if I don't like it, we'll do it a different way next year".
When planning for Disney we talked about some of the things we might not get to do this trip and she said, "Well, it's not like we won't go back again."
I know this "WE" word is dangerous. It could me her and the kids without me. It could mean all of us doing something as a family even though we're divorced.
Earlier this week my W took down the Xmas decorations and put the normal pictures back up on the mantle. Our wedding picture used to be front and center. Now it's nowhere to be found. This really hurt when I noticed it. But I'm keeping it to myself. Mentioning it to her is just pursuing.
Wow, thanks, really interesting to hear the perspective of someone in similar circumstances on these issues.
Yes, my W is pushing for separation ASAP, but also wants us to plan a weekend getaway and family vacations, etc.
Yes, it's heartbreaking when the wedding ring, the wedding pictures, etc. start disappearing...and no, there's nothing to say...we just keep this sadness it to ourselves and people on anonymous message boards!
This right here! Man I remember the day my W handed me her engagement ring back and said "you should keep this". Then less than a week later she stopped wearing her wedding ring. It was one of the most heartbreaking things that I have ever witnessed. She actually left ALL of our wedding stuff at the house when she moved out. Didn't even take a single picture. Actually everything is exactly as she left it in this regard. It hurts so much to walk by those photos and see how happy we were, only to immediately start thinking about OM. I have thought about boxing them all up, but honestly I think this might be even more painful...I almost feel like that's me saying I'm giving up.
