In 2014 I was pregnant and diagnosed with melanoma. When I was first diagnosed it seemed worse then it ended up being. I remember wishing for a miscarriage because I did not want to have to make the choice of abortion....I did end up miscarrying after the surgery. (cancer ended up being a lot lower stage then initially thought). During this time, and a prolonged miscarriage after the surgery (heart beat of fetus stopped but my body thought it was pregnant and kept growing) my husband went into withdrawal mode as well. He would not help out with my son. He wasnt coming home. He was really really really nasty. My hormones, my grief, the anxiety of having cancer I am sure did not make me the best person to be around. I was also reacting to husbands withdrawal.
Anyway, in APril 2015 my husband told me that the reason he got annoyed with me when i called him at work hysterical because i had to induce the miscarriage...he was angry because i had wished for the miscarriage. (the only reason i wished for it was to not have to choose abortion) But he brought that up to blame me and inflict pain. It was that comment he made when I finally realized that I did not want to be married to this man.
Also, now that I am in the legal research portion of the process I am looking back and seeing that he had started hiding money all the way back in 2014. So this was planned
He was instigating and picking fights to make me look like the bad guy.
And like you, I believed it.
He refused to pay child support and like you, I was blaming it on the fact that I was such a bad wife.
Looking back, I needed to react sooner. With attorney.
