MLC W and preparing for S or D in the new year

[ForGump]

She's right about one thing: your old marriage is dead.

Once your wife throws off the shackles of marriage, will she be OK with you sleeping with another woman? Is she OK with the possibility that you will fall in love with someone else? She wants to be free -- is she OK with you being free as well?

[Gordie]

She's right about one thing: your old marriage is dead.

Once your wife throws off the shackles of marriage, will she be OK with you sleeping with another woman? Is she OK with the possibility that you will fall in love with someone else? She wants to be free -- is she OK with you being free as well?

She says she is...but she gets emotional when she says it...so I don't really know...and my mind reading is really bad (W says this is one of the reasons why our M fell apart, seriously)...

My inclination that something is going on with her has continued for the past 24 hours...W was downright flirty last night, including playing with my hair (don't think she's done that since BD)...reached out to hold my hand when we were falling asleep...and she actually called me at work today (also can't remember the last time she did that)...but as Rose advised, I'm just trying to accept and enjoy these moments for what they are and keep my expectations at ZERO...but gosh, it is confusing...

[maly]

I'm starting to think some are nuts when in milc from some of the stuff I've read,some one told years ago in the old days in the UK they used to putem in the nut house,I was told one story about a friend of mine mum used to get on the bus with just a coat on and flash her self to men,

[PsySara]

Gordie,
Stay detached but pay very close attention to your interaction with your W while she is being this way. Is ther something different to what you're doing? Acting?

I think these may be positive movements.

[Gordie]

Gordie,
Stay detached but pay very close attention to your interaction with your W while she is being this way. Is there something different to what you're doing? Acting?

I think these may be positive movements.

Steps forwards and steps backwards...this journey has so many twists and turns that it is exhausting...

What has changed with me:

*Non-pursuit (no initiating texts, phone calls, R discussions, or physical intimacy)
*More quality time/quality conversation (this is my W's main LL and her biggest R complaint)

What has changed with W:

*W feels/acts more emotionally connected to me and is more physically affectionate/intimate
*W says she now wants a separation agreement and not to file for D

What hasn't changed:

*We are working on our separation agreement with our Ls
*We are planning to physically separate in the coming weeks

What do I not know:

*Why does my W want separation and not divorce?
*What is happening with POM?

[maly]

Hi 'could it be so she can have a om under your nose and legal,and make it so she thinks its OK as if she is not doing any thing wrong,covering her self,might be totally wrong ,

[Gordie]

Yes, that is possible...think she has convinced herself that once we are separated or divorced, she will finally be free...free to find out who she wants to be, free to go and do whatever she wants to do with whomever she wants to do it...

And I have to let her go on her journey...while I go on my journey...and hope that we don't hurt each other and the kids too much in the process...and that we continue to love one another and both grow to become better people and still want to be with one another sometime in the future (I'm still a believer in my until death do we part vow)...a process which may take years...but because of our kids, we will have daily interaction with one another for a very long time...

I can't remember who it was, but someone here asked if this may not be an MLC at all (which implies that while it may last years, is still temporary), but perhaps my W has simply changed, as people do change...and that is possible too...

[maly]

Yep it looks like mlc to me ,and your on the rollercoaster ride,I believe. Its all about having other men and sex ,if you take the icing off

[Seeker7]

Hey Gordie, I just finish reading through your threads and what a journey you have been on. I believe what you said is true on her wanting to have a journey and feel like a free person to do what she wants to do. That is something I am still struggling with even though she moved out a few months ago. But just remember decisions have consequences. And each person has to deal with there own consequences for their decisions. So unless they can realize that their fantasies are not all that they are made out to be in real life on their own the change will never happen.

[maly]

The grass is not greener on the other side like they think it is going to be,and you don't miss things until they are gone,and they run the risk of burning the bridges so they can't get back the lbs closes the door,