Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #6]

[ForGump]

All-- thank you so much for your input in my thread. Every voice helps and gives me strength.

Yesterday was a bad day emotionally, and I'm sure I'll have more, but generally I think I'm doing OK.

I don't have any emotional hangups about getting all possible help. Right after BD, I did visit my primary care physician and did get some meds, some of which helped tremendously to get through the shell shock.

I did try snooping and some backhanded stuff but I learned quickly that all it does is backfire and eat away at my own sense of integrity. I know enough and I just don't want to live like that, wondering about what my W is doing. I cancelled my FB account.

My W does not spew really. She represses her anger towards me and generally behaves like a sullen teenager, often refusing to greet me and make eye contact.

I believe I have my boundaries figured out. If/when there is an OM, I will file immediately. With respect to finances, she has not been exploitive at all. And I believe we are roughly on the same page when it comes to division of property, but I understand things can deteriorate.

Her view is, I think, that she just married the wrong guy, and she's frustrated at herself that she doesn't have the financial means to divorce me easily and move on. She's also frustrated to a degree that I'm not helping her get the divorce. If it was anything else in our life, I would have, by now, researched the options, drawn up a plan, present her with options, help her choose, and execute that plan for her. I am not going to do that with the divorce. I can't.

But ... how long do I hold that position. MLC can last years. Especially if the roots of her MLC are entwined with very deep-seated psychological issues that started back in childhood. How many years can I survive in a loveless marriage?