The emotional ups and downs are so difficult rouky. I struggle too. I don't want to physically see my ex either.
I am happy for whatever influences my ex to take some interest in my son, but only because I know it benefits my son in some way...regardless of exes motive. At least the kids will have a good memory to look back on.
Children know though. And they will know even more when they are adults. You are a great mom that was there for them, when times were difficult. They will be able to verbalize that when they are older and have more life experiences. And probably show it already in their own little ways.
Life is filled with easy times and difficult times. Your ex seems to leave when times are difficult. Eventually things will get difficult with ex and OW and then it will be OWs turn to complain about things being unfair. By that time you will be in complete peace because you are doing so much to become more positive.
