Love is a decision - my story

[Gordie]

I might be misreading your post. Are you asking how often you should ask your wife to forgive you?

If so, I would say don't ask her again unless the topic comes up in conversation. You asked, and she answered. To keep asking is disrespectful.

You have done enough to carry on with making amends with others.

I agree with Rose that if you keep asking, it is disrespectful...but would add one other thing from my experience re timing and how circumstances can change and what might be in your control.

There was a specific issue after BD that my W was very angry at me about and justifiably so. Shortly thereafter, I apologized for it and asked for forgiveness. She said she couldn't forgive me.

A month or two passed and I kept thinking about it. Over that time, I tried to better understand what I did and the hurt that was caused from her perspective and my understanding deepened. When the time was right, I said, I know that I apologized for X a month or two ago and that you said you couldn't forgive me, so I've continued to really think about it and I believe that I have come to a better understanding of the what I did and the hurt that I caused you....ADD EXPLANATION HERE...W was genuinely surprised and she said that I finally understood what she was saying and that yes, she could now forgive me.

Bottom line is that my W couldn't forgive me because she didn't think I really understood what I did wrong and how I hurt her (she was right), so I couldn't genuinely express the appropriate level of remorse the first time I asked, even if well-intentioned.