I wrote this whole reply to everyone and......lost it. My work computer has been doing that lately. it's probably telling me to go back to work,lol.
I google everyone I date. In 2016, there was a guy who was interested in me and vice versa and he acted rather inappropriately with me. it have me a bad feeling, so I googled him. My gut was right, he has been charged with multiple counts of rape and is awaiting trial. I know what this guy did, it's right their in google. he was a married high school softball coach who had a relationship with a 17 year old student. Both guys you would have never thunk, especially the one at the gym. Everyone views him as this great guy and a huge inspiration and someone extremely datable. You never really truly know. Thank God I found I out.
Since dating ex NG, I have had 2 sex offenders and the plumber. Who was sexually offensive. Oh, and the priest. I am sickened and discouraged. And quite honestly, untrusting and hopeless.
In March it will be NINE years since the bomb. It hasn't been a few months or a year or two. There has been plenty of time. I've survived the horror, raised a child from infancy pretty much on my own, rebuilt my life, Found my interests and acted upon them, I GAL more than one might in my situation, and quite honestly, my idea of GAL these days is to lay on the couch with the one I love and watch some TV. I'm tired of busying myself. I have focused directly only daughter, and I would continue to do so even in a partnership. I go to bed every night on "my" side of the bed with heavy lonely heart. meanwhile I watch friends leave marriages then find someone that has them on cloud 9. I am very happy for those friends, but it leaves me saying "why not me?" Instead, I have been rejected by any guy I have ever cared about and they almost all left me to be with someone else.
So, I am discouraged in so many areas to say the least. I am so very tired. And in pain. Which is why I am taking a break from any men for a few months as my therapist thought might be good for me.
