Working on a Trial Separation Agreement with MLC H

[ccgrrl]

SBJ-
As for as GAL goes, that’s another confusing thing for me because I think the fact that I already had a life and he didn’t was a huge part of our issue. To give a little background… After BD, H & I talked a lot and we both realized that we didn’t know who started doing this first, but at some point I felt a complete lack of interest from him other than sexual.

We live in a seasonal economy so half the year I am working fulltime and the other half part-time, but for him, he’s either unemployed or working freelance & part-time. In the summers he is the primary caregiver for the kids while I am at work f/t. What started to happen was I developed friendships with my colleagues and a mutual friend of ours who lives near my job, so when I had problems at work or existential questions about my life, I turned to those around me and not to my husband who was just always overwhelmed - I thought by his own career difficulties and parenting struggles, both of which I tried to help him with, but now I see he was also struggling with feeling unloved because he wanted to have sex more and more, to the point where I was having to fight him off me so I could get to sleep so I could wake up and go to work, etc. While I was developing healthy friendships and - because my job gives me a lot of these opportunities - I was going out to the theater, films, events, etc., H didn’t have any resources to draw on besides me.

I am still doing things with friends and working on creative projects that I have (I am a filmmaker and writer) and also trying to take care of all those things around the house and in my own psyche that I always put off - whether it’s sewing the button on my favorite pants or going back to playing piano which I gave up when I was teenager.

So I guess I feel like one of the problems was me GAL-ing in the first place and actually it is him who needs to GAL He told me he felt like he was lowest priority, so I am really struggling to wrap my head around why it would be good for me to continue doing that now.