@Vapo: I'm definitely trying to discontinue the snooping. I also am trying to get rid of any expectations at this point. I'm not quite there with either of these topics but I am getting MUCH better.
@Forgump:Thanks for your feedback
@Darkness: Yes, I do see why. I sure wish I had the intelligence at that moment to stop with just that, and also not to invalidate her question. Alas, what is done is done...trying to learn.
Temp checks are very common. There is no reason to assume it to be a good sign (alas).
This is true. I think often temp checking is WW's way of finding out if she still has the control/power balance & continue to cake eat.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
Thanks for the feedback. Yeh, I definitely messed that up. I'm bummed about it but I can't take it back.
Well, Friday I went to the gym with a buddy in the morning then work. Didn't do anything Friday evening or Saturday. We had a snow storm come through and since we aren't equipped to handle that for our roadways down here I didn't get to go out (although I probably wouldn't have anyway with the way that I was feeling.) Yesterday I met up with an old colleague and played pool for a few hours, then drove about an hour to meet another friend for dinner and pool. Came home and attempted to work out, but I was still too sore from Friday's workout to do much. I tried not to do too much snooping, although I did find that W spent the night with OM on Saturday night which upset me of course. It was odd to me that she spent the night with him, then the next day asked me the above question.....but I suppose that's just mindreading.
Hello Laowai,
I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.
It is going to sound like an echo around here because I agree that the snooping isn't doing you any good and should be stopped. Focus all of your time, effort and energy into being the best Laowai that only a fool would leave.
Also, don't beat yourself up regarding past mistakes on how to handle things, especially regarding texting. The important thing is to figure out how to respond next time.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
I think temp checking is "good" in that ... well, it's like what SM24 said in another thread. The opposite of love isn't hate. It's apathy. If your W was done-done-done... she just wouldn't care, and she wouldn't bother to temp check you.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
Laowai I have just read your thread and I can see a lot of me in you and your post ...you have to let go it is the only thing that will help you
You have got much support here and one thing I really believe in now is control what you can control 2017'can be your year ....I know it is going, to be mine
Take care
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
