Good Afternoon! I have been pop'in in to see what has been going on with you folks.
with regards to your latest post. i wish that letting go of resentment is easy to do, it isn't. not for you or not for her. i am glad that you see it is something you are willing to work on to get your focus on the present instead of the Past OR the Future. i firmly believe that losing resentment is a choice. you can't make that choice for her...but you can show her how by continuing doing it yourself.
hey, BTW before i lose track of this, nice work on repairing the heating plant, so much respect for those who work through stuff like that. you saved your family a bunch of cash not hiring a service guy and you got the win. i am excited that you could feel proud of your efforts.
you are correct, I do believe you are holding yourself back. When it comes to making you the focus of your life and prioritize your happiness...It is clear you know What do to. It is clear you understand why it is important. all of your advice to so many others speaks volumes to that.
It is the How do I? How do i just start making me the priority. how do i just show myself that i am worth it. how? I saw a meme last night and it made me smile. It had a person with a spray can facing a brick wall. there was a sentence written on the wall that read, 'be with someone that makes you happy.' the person had used a spray can to cross out the 'with' and underlined 'you'. it was so succinct.
what will it take for you to make a leap and take a chance on yourself. I know you have dabbled in getting a bit out of your comfort zone over the last year - Seriously that is a great thing...but id like to read a post where you just dove right into something new and how it was one of the greatest things you've ever done. how it opened up a bunch of new doors of experiences, relationships, enjoyment, find a passion and let it run, let that inner Celtic Spirit Warrior of yours out into the world, free of the binds that you've put on him for so long. He could be a musician, artist, actor, athlete, poet, sculptor, photographer, singer, designer, brew-master, painter, gardener, inventor, Volunteer some of your time to some group or movement that you deem worthwhile...you can be whateverthefrack you want to be!!! Get your heart into it and you will be able to find the time and energy for it! It will pay you back
I think and imagine of all the sacrifices you made to try to please / satisfy everyone else. What if you didn't continuously downgrade yourself to do what you though you were supposed to do. how different would your life be...who knows right? I will tell you, my wife was actually mad at me when i used the whole 'I sacrificed' line a bunch of years ago. She said something to effect of, 'noone told you that had to be done that way. we would have been just fine if you didn't...." Just saying for some reason, we put restrictions on ourselves, lets call it a hindrance even. It is what we knew. we did the best we could with what we knew. It really didn't work, did it.
I understand all of the stresses and strains that we encounter in adult life, especially within a family and as a business owner. They are all very hard. It sounds like you are managing all of that well! You have pulled yourself out of that hole we all found ourselves in. Now time to climb that mountain in front of you.
There is sooooooooo much out there that you could try. i get all the reasons for why you haven't (cause frankly i've used them all)...i would love to see what you would come up with if you make a list of reasons why you SHOULD go out on that limb. Do you think you could give yourself permission to be fair with yourself, to help you with that journey on your path to being that man you want to become...to complete that template / concept that you have been building these last umpteen months...to becoming a better you (not just a father, husband, provider - the whole package)?
What is the worst thing that could happen if you tried?
I am pretty sure you know how to get a hold of me, so if you need...feel free to drop me a line, oK?
<sorry if the tone is a bit aggressive, not the intent...I was just throwing thoughts down quickly, didn't have a ton of time at lunch>
