What other kind of loss should she feel? What else can I do?
I think it's healthier to think in terms of ... not what you want to do TO your wife, but what are YOUR boundaries? What are you willing to allow another person to do to you, and not allow? What are YOUR values?
Another way to think about it might be ... if roles were reversed ... your W was the breadwinner and you were, say a struggling musician trying to jumpstart your career playing at bars and coffee shops and street corners ... and you were writing love letters to some rock star ... what would your W do? Would she keep sleeping with you? Drive you to your gigs? Would she welcome you home every night, buy your next guitar, etc.?
If the situation were reversed, she would react much more violently than I am about to. she definitely would not help me do anything anymore. Not sure how she would react about specific things.
