I have reflected as deeply as I can on my failure to protect my wife. I have spent the last 9 months trying to appreciate her as she is and not press her to give me anything. I have fallen a few times but I believe I have done fairly well with this. I have given her lots of space sexually. We don't have sex any more and the few times we did she initiated it. I am trying to help her gain the financial independence that she seeks without taking any of the credit or thunder away from her(even though she will use this independence to leave me). I have always been and still remain a great father who spends time with his kids every day.
I'm prepared to take it to the limit now. I can approach this with an all or nothing attitude. I want to either have her back or have her gone. No more in between. I prefer to have her obviously.
As far as the loss that she will feel. I am still struggling with this. I will stop all physical love, even if she initiates it. I will not do anything that helps her get with OM. This will include not helping with her art business and canceling a trip to California. I will stop all snooping and never look back, she will have to come to me to get things going again.
What other kind of loss should she feel? What else can I do?
