My WW and the Great Sandi2 Experiment

[Gordie]

Yes, FG. This is the initial reaction I had as well. I suppose the theory is that I first need to defuse the anger and resentment between us so that my W feels like we're not at odds anymore. I don't believe that this by itself will earn back her respect and attraction to me. That may come more from my GAL actions when I'm finally able to exhibit strength, independence, and self-respect regardless of what my W chooses to do.

The way I think of it is that there is a spectrum of comfort level/attraction that we all have experienced from our spouses (and this may change from day to day or week to week). In my mind, the goal setting should be related to how can we get from one level to the next (small, achievable steps). Maybe your coach is trying to get you to #3? Where are you on this spectrum?

1 - I am not comfortable in your physical presence

2 - I am comfortable in your physical presence, but your physical touch repels me

3 - I am comfortable with your platonic physical touch (what you might do with a friend or a relative)

4 - I am comfortable with your non-sexual physical touch (a kiss on the cheek, a hug, a snuggle, a back massage)

5 - I am comfortable with everything but sex

6 - What are you waiting for? Let's get it on!