Okay, slow down about getting rid of the things you like. You need to just chill and don't anything but learn all you can about DB. At the moment, you are trying too hard to please her. She can see what you are doing, and that's not what she really wants you to do. You are bouncing from one wall to the other. Just get still and try to calm your mind.
Listen, when a person gets rid of things they cherish, stop doing the things they enjoy, trade in their old friends, change their faith, and begin adopting someone else's life for their own, in order to please another person.......then they give away themselves. You should be loyal to yourself, first of all. People can make some bad moves out of their emotional pain, and I think that is what you may be experiencing.
I do not agree with telling her you will do anything for her. I hope you will reconsider. If she wants you to be the man she fell in love with......then that's who you should be. If she fell in love with who she wanted you to become......then that is a big problem. Some women are guilty of thinking they will change him once they marry, however, the outcome is not what she had in mind.
If you want her to think of you as a man and not a child, then stop turning yourself inside out to please her. If you are a man who has integrity, values, morals, principles, standards, etc.........then live by what that says. If you learn something new or different from what you have previously believed....and you decide you were wrong and this (fill in the blank) is right, then make a change. But do it b/c you are learning and growing as a person, not b/c you are a pleaser. When one spouse is doing all the changing, and they're doing it to please the other spouse.....something seems very out balance, IMHO.
I think you should take time to decide what you are willing to compromise, and/or give up..... and what you won't. For example, you want children. She has firmly told you she does WANT kids. Take that as a warning. If you persuade her to get pregnant, then you are likely to have children with a negligent, cold, and distant mother. This would really mess with their heads. I don't think she will change her mind if she's 43 and still saying no kids. Motherhood is not for all women. This is a subject that too many couples do not take seriously enough before they get into a marriage, or they think they'll change the mind of the other spouse. You need to consider if you want to continue in a M without children.
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Im just trying to change my approach, my way of thinking and hopefully she notices that. I would never sell anything, even if she asked because of my stubbornness. i feel like this a major step toward my change and show her i care about her and really do love her, because I'm listening and doing.
She has said she wants a divorce, right? So, your approach is to show her how willing you are to become the man she wants? I just want to make sure I understand correctly.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
