MLC W and preparing for S or D in the new year

[Gordie]

Gordie -- you asked before why my situation has become closer to yours. I don't know if you gathered the answer ... but it's because my W recently wrote that she loves me and that I will always be a part of her life and she wants to D but live in the same house for up to a year while she gains some economic footing. Her professing love and wanting to stay together ... that parallels yours. Also, there is a very strong MLC component to my W's existential crisis ... she has never been able to take control of her life (especially in a healthy way), so she's always felt boxed in by life, I think. Now that she's going through midlife, she's rebelling against those perceived constraints, and wants to experience wild passion.

There is a part of me that is very envious of your date night w/ W, the snuggling, etc. But another part that says I'd be so torn up inside to do that while the W is asking for a divorce. Seems like torture.

Aha...yes, all that sounds terribly familiar--though the sexual incompatibility that your W discusses is perplexing to me, if she feels so loving and connected to you in the other ways, unless that is part of her earlier trauma or she has you in some non-sexual category of her brain (like a brother or a father--I know you are a fan of amateur psycho analysis). It is amazing at how many of these situations are different...yet share so many similarities. There is a question I'd like to ask you, that I am pondering:

*You and your W have kids, so like my situation, you guys will be together for the rest of your lives in some capacity. On these boards, there seems to be a spectrum of...#1 co-parents with NC other than kid related communication (tough love, make them miss you)...#2 friendly co-parents who continue to do some family activities together like birthdays or holidays or vacations (though one or both parties may have remarried)...and #3 friends and co-parents, LBSs who are standing and hope that by remaining friends they create the best atmosphere for their children and keep the door open to reconciliation (most of these situations appear to be in the MLC category). Where do you see you and your W in the future?