Man Chris sounds like a really tough day. Don't beat yourself up. We all make mistakes but don't for a second think that this is the one that's going to ruin everything. Just do the best you can and get better everyday.
I am pretty sure you will feel better after your coaching session. The coach will give you a direction to go in and that was big for me. The hardest thing is to cherry pick advice and wonder are you doing the right thing. At least with a coach you don't have to guess.
Me:42 W:37 M:18 T:23 3S: 4,7,10 EA 6/16 ILYBNILWY 7/16 9/16 separate BR 10/16 Discernment Counseling She's moving out 1/17