My W’s birthday is tomorrow. Stuck in a difficult place I guess I could say. Though I feel really great, I can’t help but to wonder should I call, text, or take it as any other day and say nothing? I wish I knew the correct thing to do. In the sense of, I only want to do something if it’s helpful, I obviously have no intention on making things worse. This birthday has got me anxious. I can’t help but to recall the past 6 birthday’s I’ve spent with her. Can’t help but to hope this birthday is not all she wanted or as good as they were with me.
I’ve also been wondering and asking myself If I’m holding myself back? I am not entirely sure how I would be doing this or why the question but it’s there.
Nothing more to update, just been gali-ng with co-workers, my roommate and taking it easy. One thing I am proud of was I had a very lonely weekend, nothing much to do, roommate was gone for the weekend so it was just me. I was looking forward to it. I felt pretty content having me time. I can recall 1-6 months in, I was scared of having “down” or “alone” time. Something to remember and point out for myself.
