Wife has filed for divorce

[ngs]

I need to be more positive. I think I've moved from sad to neutral. How do I achieve your zen state of Mr. Positive? I think this would be good for my situation. You are inspiring.

Gordie,

This is going to be a long list that I've implemented over the course of 8 months, it takes time. These are ordered in what I think is important not the order I implemented them in, and keep in mind I had a pretty negative, "sky is falling" mindset

1. Choose to be positive everyday, 1st thing in morning and re-commit continuously throughout the day everyday
2. Exercise is extremely important - I run/bike/P90X
3. Change your diet - also extremely important, research "brain" vitamins
4. Practice mindfulness - there are many apps out there for free to guide, including Christian meditations, I've kept up on your situation and I'm a Christian as well
5. Find the right counselor, mine has helped me with many things on this list...I feel very fortunate for finding the counselor I have
6. Practice gratitude for everything, everyday from when I first wake up in the morning to when I go to bed at night, there are so many things to be grateful for in spite of everything
7. Reading - I've read books on retraining your brain, mindfulness, practicing gratitude & many more self help/relationship
8. Reminding yourself daily that most things are out of your control, you control yourself and in the end you still have a long life to live and it will work out no matter what happens
9. If I'm having negative thoughts, sometimes I write them down, it's easier for me to let go of them knowing I wrote them down

There were many more incremental steps that I've taken but this is a lot of what I have done and continue to do daily

This is not easy, I still have bad days, it is that I can turn that bad day around now, when before I would be negative & angry for long periods

I hope some of this helps