The divorce was made final just before Christmas..was quite a shock for my ex as she hadn't been informed by her lawyer. She wanted us to all go to church together to pray for strength, which is just garbage after what she has done to our family. She says that she is happy that we are friends and that we should be thankful for that although I am grateful that our arrangement keeps me involved with the kids. she feels that everything is still very raw for her and that the last year or so of our marriage was hell. She feels much happier now and that in her mind, we weren't cut out to be an average married couple with arguments and watching tv in the evenings. There is little sign that our relationship will ever improve. I know that she is flirting online again and be it for a fix or whatever, it still hurts and doesn't give me any hope for the future. If anything, I feel like I should be looking at moving on in some way. It's a lonely existence just waiting to see the kids. I see my friends and go to the gym but it isn't the same. I feel trapped in not wanting to unsettle things and at the same time, wanting to run like crazy and look for someone new. I don't even really get breadcrumbs from her anymore so what is left? Is this it? should I just accept that waiting for things to change would take to long?
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
