Thanks Job for all the kind words. I appreciate the compliment, too.
Well, more childhood issues surfacing. H asked s11 and I to go out with him. Out of nowhere h started to tell more about his childhood.
I listenend and validated. But it was painful to listen to it. My stomach was in knots and honestly, I felt stressed out hearing it all. I cannot even imagine what it was like to live through it.
Hard as it was to hear, the timing was perfect though, becuase, truth be told, I was feeling sorry for myself today. This might have been God's way of dumping cold water on me and telling me to get a grip.
I now realize from the stories he told tonight that he has also projected another authority figure onto me all along. From one story he told, I also better understand his paranoia. Although it seems like paranoia, in reality, I believe he is stuck in the past dealing with some all too real issues of that time. Once you know the story you can see that if, in his mind's eye he is back in the past, he has every reason in the world to be vigilant (seemingly paranoid) for his own safety.
He mentioned that ages 7 - 12/13 were particularly difficult. Age 7 corresponds with the littlest boy who has at times appeared.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
I'm glad you are able to sit, listen and validate. Yes, he's starting to feel comfortable in talking to you about his childhood and this is great. It will help him inch his way back to being a mature man. It's unfortunate that they have to "relive" those times...but it is necessary in order to return to the present. This reminds me of the Christmas Carol, i.e., past, present and future.
Hang in there. It's going to get better...in time.
Also, please start a new thread. Thanks!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
