Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 8

[PsySara]

WH had done this before and I spoke to my DBing coach. He recommended that I focus on the forward movement, previously WH wouldn't accept any invitations and this time he has. So focus on the fact that he chose to spend time with the family (even though it's clear he doesn't want to interact with me) and use my tools to imbed positive memories in his head.

Since I start the medication I have been sleeping better and able to take a clearer look at myself. I went back over the times recently when WH and I were doing well and paid close attention to our interactions. I was not being confrontational, I was not putting down ultimatums, I was not losing control of my emotions. Sure enough I lose ground when I become reactive. The last fight we had (on the way back from WDW) I lost control again. While I did not yell I did say horrible things to my WH. This needs to stop, not just with him but in all relationships. I tend to fly off the handle too easily with my children too. So I need to start identifying the physical changes as I start to escalate (racing heart, tightness in my chest, rushing sensation in my ears) and WALK AWAY when this happens. I have done the damage this time, WH and I had made some serious progress and I reacted instead of controlling myself.

I am re-reading DR, I will find some time to schedule a session with my coach. In the past I've convinced WH that I am making real changes then I can do it again. I will do this for no other reason than I desire to have a healthy marriage, I desire to raise my children in a nuclear family, I desire to be a healthier person, both physically and emotionally. I will still reach for the last goal regardless of the outcome of my marriage.