It sounds as if the two of you were expressing love in different ways. I recommend the book about five love languages, to see how we all communicate our love....but not necessarily in the same way. I do caution you, however, b/c after reading it you will be eager to demonstrate speaking her LL.......which could be seen as pursuing.

About the age gap.......has she made recent references to her age? The closer she gets to her 40's, the more it may bother her that she is M to a much younger man. However, it is no guarantee. I have known a couple of women who were ten to fifteen years older than their H. In the beginning, it doesn't bother them, and it may even be an ego shot for their self esteem. The downside for them was the pressure to look as young as their H. Of course, the older they got, and the more people would ask about their ages.....the tougher it became to look and act 10-15 years younger. These women I knew were very jealous of any younger woman who showed attention to their H's, or vise-versa. So, it can be pressure for the older woman to "keep up" with her younger H. She would need to have a very healthy self esteem, IMHO.

How long had your W been out of her 2 year long-term R, before she met you and began dating? Was the other guy from her previous R younger, older, or close to her age? I hope she did not go with you as some sort of revenge tactic toward the previous man. I've known that to happen.....especially when it was the woman who got dumped for OW. What better way to hurt their previous man than to go with a guy almost half his age? Naturally, Not all women think this way.....but a few do.

Quote:
Well i always asked if i could access to the bank accounts for the rentals just to see. She said no,


Did she give a reason for saying "no"? If these are joint properties, you have the right to see, If you have joint accounts, you have the right to see it. Have you carelessly spent money in the past? It sounds as if she doesn't trust you......or that she is keenly planning for her future.

Perhaps both of you are controllers?

Back to the fights.....did you ever feel she was treating you more like her child than her H? This type of behavior can happen in any MR, and age is not a factor. Did you see her trying to manipulate you.....or were you upset b/c she would not cooperate in doing what you wanted? Both of you are stubborn, so how were the fights finally resolved or settled......or, were they?

Keep posting and telling us more.

BTW, has there been any inappropriate behavior with others, since the M?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!