Hi Rouky, I understand how you feel. I have only seen XH once since BD and I have no idea how I would feel if I had to see him again. Pretty rattled I would guess. In fact when I have to go to 'his city' I get irrational fears about bumping into him, or OW or worse, both together..

But he and I don't have to kids together and I am lucky enough that SS chooses to keep in touch and his Mum encourages that too. I don't need to be in contact with XH for that to happen.

When you have kids together, I think it is healthiest if you can get to a point of interacting face to face, even if that is in a fairly minimal and pleasant way. Your kids will notice if Mum & Dad never see each other and it will impact I think..

I get how hard it is though....(((((hugs))))...and I agree with Peace - working towards forgiveness as a gift to yourself is so important - letting go of the need to 'punish' or for him to feel 'consequences' - life tends to do this, there is no need for you to hold on to any of that. If you can release it and feel peace within yourself even when 'faced' with him, that will be further progress forward for you...

Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus