The more history about the relationship you give us, the better we can see the overall picture.
Have either of you been in a long term relationship before this marriage? How long were you together before marrying her?
A little background. My W and I were together for 10 months before we both got married. Her longest relationship with anyone was 2 years before marriage. I was 26 and she was 38. There is a big age gap, and i didn't really see a problem with it.
Of course the first and second year are the romantic. We had fights about little things and who is texting who and a lot jealousy. I wanted to have children, and she tried and went to the doctor for a check up and then decided she didn't want burden herself with that. I became resentful and from what she has told me, she feels like i started to hate her. So we went on vacations, out of country and i thought she'd enjoy it, which she did, and we had little arguments then too. Nothing i wouldn't be worried about.
Well she bottled all of that up, and she's really not a great communicator. She loves to talk, and be friendly because she's a bartender. I Work on a ship with a 1 week on/off schedule. She loved when i was away and when i was home. She had always tried to do really nice things, that i overlooked, and expressed little emotion of. I was indifferent a lot of the time. When we had big fights, the yelling would start, id leave, she'd leave, we slept in different rooms. We of course had fights about money, and time and the M.
We bought properties together, because when were dating she told how much she would like to have rentals for income and we will be better off if we do. I have to hand it to her. She is really good with money. Well i always asked if i could access to the bank accounts for the rentals just to see. She said no, i became enraged, we yelled, left and slept in different rooms. I mean we slept in different rooms for 5 days at a time. So to be spiteful, i neglected to help her out with the work and maintenance of the property. Looking back, what a jerk i was.
I would complain she drinks too much, and she got arrested for a DUI. I wasn't mad i told her, just disappointed. I helped her the best i could, while she couldn't drive, then when she was able to, i let her be on her own with the classes she had to take and her work to do. She was stressed. I should have helped more and i would right now.
Its hard. She send me texts telling me to have a good day, talk issues she's having and thats about it. I can't take it. I just want to hold her and for her to believe me this time that i will change
