I'm no expert but... This works! 4 years since BD

[SM34]

Hi everyone. Thought I'd pop in and see how everyone is doing and give you all some updates. Its been 4 years since my world exploded. I was right there in the newcomers section, pleading for help. I was angry, I was scared, I was filled with negative emotions. You can pretty much say I was a WRECK.

But I listened to the good folks here. I absorbed it. I got PLENTY of 2x4's to the head, I was often told I was stubborn or that I am cocky, and that I needed to start learning or I'd be divorced.

I wanted to tell everyone here to keep the faith. It can happen! You CAN get through this ordeal, and you CAN have a better marriage than you have EVER had, with your spouse. As insane as they may seem right now during your sitch, they CAN and do sometimes return to their old self, or a new and improved self. Will you be a new and improved self when they do look over their shoulder? Thats the real question you need to ask yourself.

Anyway, as far as my life and updates, our marriage is rock solid and improved leaps and bounds. A lot of what I thought was going on during my sitch and during posting here turned out to be true. But some of it turned out to be false. You can never really know the full truth of what happened or why it happened and, for me, I've learned to live with that. It doesn't bother me anymore.

I've been reading some of the newcomers posts from the last few days and I can see myself in so many of our newest members. I want so badly to try to be of assistance to anyone who I can help. Please understand it is hard for us old timers because so many of what is said here in the boards are triggers for us. It is very difficult to see and hear so many people in the worst pain of their lives...

And this is why I appreciate those folks who have dedicated their lives to helping others. They have put aside the pain it can cause them (and flashbacks of a bad experience) in order to help however they can. Sandi2, Cadet and many many others are some of the most awesome and selfless people I've ever come across. Listen to them.

I'll be lurking here as much as I can..

Keep on DB'ing!