Hanging and hoping- seperation edition

[Chris73]

My W is also not one to share her feelings, but want to encourage you that my W has started in responses to my changes. Since starting DB, I also no longer initiate R talks. However, when my W initiates them, I try my hardest to make eye contact and listen as intently as possible. All of my attention is her. I validate and also make encouraging comments, such as thank you for opening up to me and I want to better understand what you are feeling. This is a 180 for me as I have been a lousy listener in the past. The result is that she is more open to me now than she has ever been. It hasn't cured our problems or saved our marriage yet, but it's a big improvement in our overall R.

Short version: if you want your W to open up, demonstrate that you are really listening and what she is saying is the most important thing in the universe in that moment.

I love this Gordie. I think I need to start a scrapbook of inspirational posts from this board and start reading them regularly...