Working on a Trial Separation Agreement with MLC H

[ccgrrl]

My husband is going through a MLC and I've been doing my best to take in all the advice here and on other sites, in other books, relating to this problem. We have been doing an in-house separation for a little over 6 week because our finances are not great, but it's become clear to both of us that he needs more space to get some clarity and I need some space away from the anxiety of dealing with this..

Anyway, we've agreed on a trial separation where he will move into an apartment. We are really close friends and both of us are well-intentioned, however, when we talk about our relationship - even with our marriage counselor - things get heated and it seems we don't hear what the other is really saying. So we decided to have a written agreement that we negotiate together to deal with all of the practical issues as well as the purpose of the separation - which is: "to get some space from one another and from our current relationship in order to see what it is like to live separately, think about the patterns and behaviors of our relationship, and work on ourselves as individuals, so we can have a better relationship as parents, as friends, as partners, as either spouses or ex-spouses."

My question is this, I feel that because the purpose is to sort these things out as individuals, I should have a clause in the agreement that says something like this: "during the time of the separation, neither party will engage in a romantic relationship with another person, whether or not any sexual relations occur."

I know that he is not cheating on me in the physical sense, but I feel strongly that he is having an EA with some woman, and I don't want our separation to be a license to consummate that relationship, even as I know I can't really stop that. It seems it should be in there but I know when we sit down to negotiate, that is going to be a huge issue.

Any advice on how I can get this to be part of the agreement? Should I not bring it up until the end or at the beginning? Am I out of line putting it in in the first place? And what if he just refuses.. should I refuse the whole thing?

I appreciate your supportive help and welcome responses from anyone with something to offer, including (but not limited to) spouses who might be on the other side of this conflict..
Thanks.