Hello everyone, So my wife and I had our ups and downs. We would fight, I'd get mad we both get silent then I'd sleep in the other room to be away from her. We have been married four years, and we just had a fight before our anniversary, so I held a little resentment. Her cat died and she was very attached to it, so when it died I felt bad for her and decided to surprise her with a kitten. To my suprise she didn't want it, cut me off, and didn't talk to me. Three days later, her friend and baby are staying at our house and I didn't know anything about it. So I told my wife that we are not on good terms and I don't think her friend should be staying with us. Of course my wife fought me on it, and like the jealous man I was I told her I'd call the cops to have her friend escorted out because she is fighting me on this. That was a arrogant response on my part and really controlling as I have come to realize. I did call her friend later and apologized to her and basically said I'm sorry, I just don't know what's going on with my wife and it's really hard for me.
So the fights were bad. Real bad. So after the latest fight she intentionally missed our anniversary, was really silent with me, told me she had nothing to say and I pretty much brushed it off. She had been off and on staying at a friends house, without telling me and it made me upset. I asked we have a talk.
So we had a talk on the living room couch, and basically she just poured her heart out to me, cried, I cried and then she dropped the bomb. She said she wanted a divorce. I was shocked but I knew what she was going through and just thought it was emotional response. So I listened to her on why she did, agreed with her, tried to make a point for me and just basically disagreed with her. I told her I can change and blah blah, she heard it. But this time I assured her I needed to for myself.
So I went to bed, and she remained on the couch. She eventually came to bed with me layed with me and rubbed my back and cuddled with me. I was happy then. Things, I thought were ugoing smooth. I went to work, asked how her day was, cooked and cleaned, did all the chores for the house and just tried to change and be nice. I bought marriage books, sought a counselor, and basically went to the doctor to stop smoking. Things were turning around I thought.
So the Thursday before Christmas she says she can't do it anymore, she has checked out she doesn't love me etc, she wants a divorce. I this time tried to reason, begged, told her I loved her and just be clingy. I told her I was changing and I was trying to change. She she noticed but she can't be sure we'd go back to the same a few weeks later. I asked her to look deep in her heart and I left for the grocery store. I made dinner and gave it to her and it seemed like we were getting along. She called me the day before Christmas Eve asking me to get tickets for the nutcracker play. I told her yes, and I only wanted to spend time with her. Things were going good. She loved her Christmas and she told me that.
The night of New Year's Eve she came to me, said she knows I've been trying hard to make amends, but she wants a divorce. I was desperate now. I cried, begged told her I want to be with her, said I'd never do those things again to hurt her and etc. she didn't care and left. She celebrated New Years with friends while I was miserable at home. She sent me a text the next morning and said she was ok and she was fine. I told I was glad. She went to bed, I continued to do chores and then I sat in the office, I decided to go and sleep on the bed with her and hug her.
So after this she was nice and responsive and talked to me about her day, asked to watch a movie in bed, and get me snacks. I was happy but guarded as she has been nice and then flips the switch. So her car breaks down and I give her mine and tell her to drive it because I don't want her stranded. She takes my car while I carpool to work. I'm just trying to be nice to her.
Then today she says she doesn't want to be married anymore and I say I agree with you, it was toxic and I want to be with you. I want to make it work. I want to be there for her. She said the love will never be the same and she feels like she has to force it. I tell her I love you and she just says thanks.
I feel horrible and depressed like I'm about to lose someone to death. No kids just a lot of assets. This [censored]. What do you guys think
