Painter, a hypnotherapist I saw a bunch of times, pointed that out to me.... How readily I can commit to improving the physical, but how little I addressed the mental. (I haven't seen her since October and just scheduled an apt with her for next week) Meditation is a good suggestion and a must for me. No excuses.
And you are right on the money. I don't really have a goal that I feel positive about. Instead I feel like I am just trying to get through my day and get things off of my never ending list. I don't have anything I am really looking forward to. And that's a problem. Now I don't know if it's that I'm overwhelmed and depressed which is making me feel dispassionate and fruitless about everything, Or is it the lack of a goal that makes me feel depressed and fruitless.
I don't know ginger. I'm not really enjoying those types of things right now. That's a problem. I honestly can't think of anything I enjoy or have the attention span for.
I am in the beginning stages of the actual divorce procees though. I had my first semi panic attack this morning. Felt everything tighten up and literally had to sit down while taking a shower. The reason was the lawyer bills. I Can't stomach the price and I am mad at myself and doubting myself for going this route.
I was filled with fear and mistrust torwards husband. I felt pressured and rushed by husband and by the lawyers. I mistrusted the lawyers as well. I just feel like it's a nightmare I can't go back on. The lawyers are gonna cost more then we even had! Which is what my ex had said back in the day. But I just felt like he was hiding stuff from me. I am just sick, sick, sick by the price of this.
