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maly Offline OP
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Yes her eyes do look glazed,and yes I am but its very hard,but would be good to know if she will ever come out of it,she is no good like this,and I did try everything but nothing works,so just letting her get on with the carnage now,its her life she all ready lost her dignity,just watching her trash her life now,that's how it looks to me,


Me 56 w52
M30 years
4x adult kids
W dad died/11
W wanted d 03/12
In-house sep 03/12
D 2014 I pushed
W Left on 02/16 I pushed
Pa on 07/16
Nc after 07/16
W Cakeating 15to16
Me doormat 12to16
Limbo 12to16
maly #2723979 01/04/17 06:53 AM
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There was a great person on here who went by the name "Jack_Three_Beans" who was a huge help to me and many others. He passed on late last year and is greatly missed.

Shortly before then though he wrote this post. I encourage you to read it and perhaps some of the other standard reading over in the MidLife Crisis forum.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2701017#Post2701017

You are not alone. Others have walked this path before you and others will follow you. We survive and in many cases thrive.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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maly Offline OP
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Thanx Andrew that is a great post and so is cadets lighthouse story I've added both to my watch list,so it does look like my wife is in mlc,


Me 56 w52
M30 years
4x adult kids
W dad died/11
W wanted d 03/12
In-house sep 03/12
D 2014 I pushed
W Left on 02/16 I pushed
Pa on 07/16
Nc after 07/16
W Cakeating 15to16
Me doormat 12to16
Limbo 12to16
maly #2724005 01/04/17 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted By: maly
Thank you cadet,happy new year my friend,you all do a great job,its good to have help when your having this in your life BTW I'm 56 wife/alien is 52, just don't understand what we have done to get put through the shredder like this,

Just so you know my very first post here on DB says something like

I think I got hit by a sledgehammer, so you are not alone in the way you feel.

Knowledge is indeed Power, keep learning!


Me-70, D37,S36
Cadet #2724013 01/04/17 10:28 AM
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maly Offline OP
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Yep,I'm really starting to like this place,its made me feel so much better all ready,I think last night was the best nights sleep I've had for months,just like to say to you and every one thank you for being there,and that sledgehammer hurts big time,


Me 56 w52
M30 years
4x adult kids
W dad died/11
W wanted d 03/12
In-house sep 03/12
D 2014 I pushed
W Left on 02/16 I pushed
Pa on 07/16
Nc after 07/16
W Cakeating 15to16
Me doormat 12to16
Limbo 12to16
maly #2724188 01/05/17 04:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
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Hello maly,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

Sandi hit the nail on the head, it does sound like your wife has been calling the shots for the last four years. Now that you have recognized this pattern, what are you doing differently? What are you doing, specifically, for yourself? Exercising? Enjoying a new hobby? Focus on being the best maly, Dad and Grandpa that only a fool would leave.

Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
maly #2724190 01/05/17 04:22 PM
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maly Offline OP
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I've been reading a lot of posts today,it seems to me most of the lbs are good peeps,and like the spouses want a change simler to when you get tired of your old car and want a new one even tho the old car still does its job,and in a lot of cases its all bout getting another partner,


Me 56 w52
M30 years
4x adult kids
W dad died/11
W wanted d 03/12
In-house sep 03/12
D 2014 I pushed
W Left on 02/16 I pushed
Pa on 07/16
Nc after 07/16
W Cakeating 15to16
Me doormat 12to16
Limbo 12to16
maly #2724211 01/05/17 06:35 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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"and like the spouses want a change simler to when you get tired of your old car and want a new one even tho the old car still does its job,and in a lot of cases its all bout getting another partner,"

Not really. It's about change and making oneself happy.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #2724212 01/05/17 06:38 PM
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You ask alot of questions about not knowing 'why' your situation is the way it is. That's all detailed in the books. When do you plan to get them?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #2724219 01/05/17 07:20 PM
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Maly, sorry that you're here bud. However, you are correct that this is a wonderful place. A lot of good folks here.

What are you doing for you? You say the sleep has been lacking, are you exercising? Nothing helps more than the exercise in my opinion. Next best thing is knowledge. Gaining a better understanding of yourself and the situation and realizing you're not alone will help to get you to level and alleviate the magnitude of the swings.

Are you still snooping on your W? (You mentioned following her). If you are, cut it out. That'll only drive you insane. You sound like a fighter who doesn't give up easy. That's a blessing and a curse here. You'll find you can't solve your Ws problems. She needs to work down her path and hopefully at some point she will. All you can do in the meantime is make yourself the man you want to be.

So, what are you doing to make yourself that man? What are your goals for you? You've already been on quite the roller coaster. Focusing on you will help you get and stay level. Here for you bud.


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
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